I found this poem from 2003

It still rings true today.11 years later.

What does that say about me?...hmmm....never mind don't answer that - lol.

I guess I am just very glad the Lord never gives up on me! 

That his mercies are new every day and that his love is everlasting!

*****

How?

How do you do it?

Love all the time?

Never receiving in return and then,

 You, love again.

The same ones all over again;

Even, after they’ve crucified you?

How?

Oh Lord, I try; I really do.

I try so hard to love like you;

 Then, when I am hurt so badly all over again;

I try to love but instead I find I cannot love like you;

Instead, I cry.

How?

Like driving nails;

Words like nails pierce my hands.

Watching the blood drip from my wounds,

 I stand.

I want to forgive but I can’t.

I think of you;

 How, you forgave me.

 Still I try; instead I cry;

How?

Like a razor sharp sword;

I feel the intentions of another’s heart tear mine apart.

 I faint in despair, knowing I need to get up.

Crying out to you for help;

Knowing, you have been here before me.

I know I must get up; but how?

How?

Lord, help me.

Please help me.

You lived the life betrayal told.

You died the death all life beholds.

You loved and loved still more,

Like, no other who has ever lived before.

How?

How do I love and love again?

How do I forgive and let the hurt take its mend?

When all my eyes clearly see is the bitter end before me?

Lord you know.

You walked the road to Calvary.

How?

You are the master at loving the unlovable;

Be the master of my heart.

Don’t let the life from me depart without first showing me the key.

I want to love like you.

How?

Amy Colleen

8/2003

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I have to be honest the more I pray this prayer the harder it seems it's reality becomes.

The closer I desire to be to Messiah the further I realize I am from His holiness.

I am nothing without Him.

AmyColleen
💕